Your stories are holding you back..
A couple of months ago I had coffee with a long-time friend and mentor - someone who has helped give me career advice for the last 5 years.
When I told him that I had left my job at one of Canada's hottest fintechs to pursue coaching full-time, his response was:
“Wow, I hope your husband makes a lot of money!?!?"
Yup.
What is interesting about his comment is that (and trust me, I am embarrassed to admit this publicly!) for YEARS I thought that the women who started companies, or took massive pay cuts, must have wealthy partners or parents. Ugh.
In my family, I am the primary breadwinner. My husband has a great job, but in my last corporate role I made multiples more than he does. His salary alone does not cover the living expenses for our family of four.
For years I believed that it wasn't possible for me to take a risk in my career - I had to keep climbing the corporate ladder and keep chasing bigger and bigger paycheques. I have done a ton of work over the last two years to build trust in myself and the belief that I can do work I love AND provide financial security for my family.
My mentor's comment triggered me back into old limiting beliefs that I had around who is able to take risks in their career. If I had heard his comment a year before when I was just thinking about going out on my own, it may have completely stopped me from going after my dream. This time, I was actually able to laugh it off and tell him that I wasn't worried. Growth.
For many folks who want to make a career change - to a new industry, a new role, a different size of company or into entrepreneurship - financial security is (understandably) top of mind.
We all have different stories that we tell ourselves about money and our careers. My stories were that only people with “rich spouses / parents" can afford to take a risk and that it was impossible to have flexibility in your work AND make a lot of money.
What stories are you telling yourself?
If deep down you want to make a change you need to figure out what those stories are - as they show you what you believe to be true (not what is actually true). Do you think…
It would be impossible to love your job and make good money?
People who start business have already created wealth somewhere else first?
People who have flexible jobs are lazy?
"People like you” don't do “x, y or z jobs"?
What you want to do is available to other people, but not you?
Once you have identified your story, step 2 is to look for evidence of whether or not it is true. Look at the people you know, and people you don't for clues of whether your story is fact or story.
At this point be careful - your stories are strong - so you may find someone who has started created the career and life you dream of - but you come up with excuses for why you also couldn't do that.
Don't make excuses - look at those people as a sign of what is possible for you to.
Once you prove to yourself that it isn't true - create a more empowering story. For me, I found evidence of amazing female founders who were also breadwinners and told myself that it is possible to support my family doing work that I love. You will need to repeat this story to yourself about 1 million times until you believe it - but the work is well worth it.
What story is holding you back? Reply to let me know!
If you want help identifying your story and creating a career that makes you excited to get out of bed reply STORY and I will connect with you.
Upcoming events:
I am participating in an awesome FREE roundtable on January 15th on how to ask for what you want at work - even when it is hard. Self-advocacy is SO hard - but it doesn't have to be! Join me an 4 other amazing female leaders to learn how to advocate for yourself (and get it!). Learn more and sign up HERE.
